Check Your Single Self

As a relationship expert one of my main questions I receive from single women is what am I doing wrong to be single when they thought they were preparing themselves for a husband properly. In my book The Relationship Guide I speak of many things that a woman should do to be found a wife for the man God has prepared for her. Sadly, so many women develop an intimate relationship with God they could be blessed with a man and before you know after he moves in or you two are in a serious relationship your relationship with God goes lacking. It's almost as God became your side dude. Scripture even says that we should put no one before God which is why so many women end up on my line or on my sofa trying to pick up the broken pieces because the relationship they had with man has now fell apart. 

It's very easy to have a relationship with God and keep relationship with your man. The first thing you must do is develop a true relationship with God and desire a man that loves God the way you love him. So when you pray he will not have a problem praying with you or going to bible study with you. It makes no sense to ask God to give you the desires of your heart and if you are delighting yourself in him a Godly relationship with a man should be met as well as your prayers of the career, car, and or goals you desire. Who you attract should be a reflection your prayers. 

Aside of preparing yourself spiritually make sure you can also be the women a man will find as a wife through your everyday living. How you clean and take care of your home. How you take care of you father and brothers. If you can't fix them a plate or listen to them give you leadership advice how can you listen to a man that you just met if you have no respect for the men in your family who you have grown up with all of your life. These are things a woman should check while checking herself on why she is single. 

Why do you want a man? What makes you feel like you just need a man. Is it for companionship? Are you lonely? Are you tried of being alone? Are you not happy alone? You have to learn to content by yourself. The bible says Godly contentment is great gain. You have to learn how to be happy with you dating yourself. If you go out to eat youaren't eating alone you are taking yourself out to eat. You aren't going to the movies alone you are taking yourself out to the movies. The fact that you can't take yourself out is why you feel so lonely and need someone else to take you out on a date. The need to be needed is not how you should be preparing yourself for a husband.

So there are so many red flags that you can give yourself and answer your own question of why you are still single. You, your relationship with God, and how you are preparing yourself is what you should improve to be a wife.

When a real woman comes along

Ladies just because a man has great conversation doesn't mean he is actually ready to be the man he is talking about. You have yo understand we have hopes, plans,and desires but that doesn't mean that he is ready.  Love and people can hit you unexpectedly. A man can begin to prepare for a certain type of woman. He could be the type of man that's always dated women lower standards and realize that he desires better for himself.  So he begins to change of his qualifications because he now understands that he can attract a woman of high standards with conversation because that is what he desires however he is not prepared to keep her. He doesn't know how to mentally. So this why you find a lot of men that start dating a good woman better than the women they've dated and he reverses back to women whom standards are low and you then look at yourself as if you have done something wrong but you have not. Unfortunately, you've met him at the wrong time. 

So you may ask how do you handle this situation it's simple being the woman that you are let him know that you know that something is wrong with him. Offer to help him with his desires. For example, you can be a woman that's mentally stable and all of your ducks are in a row where his aren't (if the relationship is worth it) assist him because sometimes a man needs a woman that will help him without trying to recreate him. He just needs reassurance that he can do it. This happens a lot but a lot women don't understand what's going on so they explain what they know but not in a way to solve the issue because you approach is everything. 

Ladies when you are dealing with these type of men you have to know the level of the dating process or the relationship. You don't want to waste your time on a man with a fantasy to have a good woman but they aren't ready to settle down. A lot of women get hurt by men two aren't 100% ready to settle down . Women don't blame yourself and wonder if you are dating material. 

Guys, I will not leave you out. If you are in time in your life that you desire a good woman that will help you without making you feel like you are less of man. Just like you know if she is a good woman and you trust something within her don't allow pride to get in your way. Communicate where you are and this is when you'll appreciate her for where she is in life because she will not make you feel like you are less than a man. This will make you appreciate her more becaus she understand that a wise woman was brought into your life to make you better. Men you have to be man enough to want it.

Excuses are just Lies

On Monday morning when he wakes up he knows he has to go to work this week. As a matter of fact his whole week down to his haircut appointment and when he'll wash his car is already planned. See a man is a structured human being who knows what he wants and he is never afraid of commitment because he is committed to his job, going to see his mom, spending time with his children, buying a home, and he is committed to the time he'll spend with the guys. However, when it comes to you it seems like he can't commit to being consistent. Most women desire time but it seems he falls for the type of women that want his money.  Honestly, some men find it easier to buy things for a woman to make her happy rather than make time to spend quality time with her.  It's effortless and easy. I can tell you right now when he begin to say things like "I am so sorry I was very busy today" or I'm sorry I didn't have time to call you". Sadly, ladies these are lies that he's made you believe are his excuses. We live in a society where cell phone are like our heartbeat. There are to many social media apps that allow us to be plugged into society. If he can post on social media, view everyone's post, like and comment on social media then he definitely has time for you. Even if he doesn't have social media he can call you or text you at anytime he desire but he has to desire to keep you. So he has no excuses but a punch bowl full of lies that you've believed and allowed him to get away with. A man will not make excuses when he values what is in front of him. You aren't optional you are apart of his life, his plan,and his day. He makes sure he tells you good morning. He will find moments to text or call you during the day just either to ask you "wyd" or call you to say hi. He won't end his day until he knows how your day went and saying good night. Ladies, the problem is you allow men to make it with these lies watered down by excuses. I promise you ladies if you raise awareness to his excuses he'll either get it together or realize you can't be easily fooled.  

Her Perception killed the Relationship

He thought he had a perfect match. She was beautiful educated and well mannered. So he decided to give his all. He looked over her need to always remain fly in the latest outfits but the more he explored her mind he realized that she was more concerned about others perception of her life and how their life looked in pictures, on camera, and in front of the public. See she wanted to look the part and never desired to actually be the part. She was turned on by what others had to say like the "you guys look wonderful, and you make a good looking couple" that she was no longer in tuned to his desires to become intimate through communication. The nights he'd hold her turned into shopping for shoes and outfits for up coming events on the Internet. He could no longer walk out the house comfortable he became a reflection of her as if he was her trophy. He worked over time to make sure she had nice things and drove the best. One day he stopped and asked her "what about their relationship makes her smile." She responded "they way people react when we walk in the room." Everyone desires to be us because we look so good together." His response was "looks can be deceiving." She never caught on she asked him his opinion of an outfit she seen on Instagram for a Christmas dinner they were going to attend. That night as she sleep he woke up and wrote her a letter and this is what it said. 

" I love the thought of you. The thought that we would be. Just you and me. The thought that we could have a family and be happy with the simple things of life. But your perception of love and your want for everyone to love what they see when they look at us isn't what I imagined you'd be like. I can't live up to your perception of love. I'm sorry but your perception has killed this relationship."

Failure to Communicate

Pillow thoughts:
So many people fall into relationships without a full understanding of the roles the play in each others life) Women think that because I've given you all of me. We are exclusive (Which should be true) however, if there was never communication you can not assume that he or she is desiring a relationship with you. The issue beings when assumptions begin. Here is the deal..unless you have gotten an understanding.. whatever happens happens. You can't feel used, unappreciated, or in any ill way because you never took the time to ask "What are we doing" the answer would of saved you the time for thinking they know your desiring a relationship.. when they just wanted you as a past time. Of course the number one way of not getting hurt is not giving it up and waiting until your married.  I Also realize that some of my readers fulfill there sexual needs and do so assuming the other partner is perceiving what you are perceiving. Bottom line, in all you do get an understanding.  I don't care if it's sexual or not. You always want to know their desires and goals when it comes to being with you. If you two are exclusive, open, etc..You are not wrong for wanting to know about your love life. If there is no communication or communication pushes them away, that is a serious indicator that you need to move around. On my ending note I really want you all to understand. Without an understanding.. you can get misunderstood and you can  hurt your own feelings. How can you hurt your own feeling..failing to communicate and automatically think they are feeling what you are feel..  This is Rachel G.. (for booking email rachelginc@gmail.com) social sites @i_amrachelg fb: Rachel G (Google:Rachel G)
Failure to Communicate

Seeing The Positive In You

Hi everyone it is been 2 years since I've blogged and life has had me busy. From traveling to acting... God has been good to me.  I really apologize but i have missed you all so let's talk about you! Life can spin us in all types of directions. Between family and careers along with the opinions of others. It's rather hard to maintain a positive focus. We make decisions and sometimes question our decision and what's a positive decision to better yourself can be easily wavered if one person comes alone to convince you that they know better for your life.  Personally, I stand on my Christianity and I allow God to line my desires with his will.  However,  in my prayers, I pray you get to that mental place but hopefully I can give you a few pointers to help live positive.
Love you first. Know that you need you to get to that positive place. Everything about you is great.  God created you in his image and light.  So you were created to shine bright.  The world needs to see you. Your placed on this earth for a purpose.  God wakes you up everyday to fulfill that purpose. Who you are is needed. For 21 days wake up and look in the mirror telling yourself you love yourself.  Positive energy,  thinking,  along with mindset starts with you.  Set apart time to work on who you are and the intimacy of loving you.  I'm Rachel G and you are important to me. Live, Love, and most importantly Appreciate Life!

Because I know better.. I do better...I LOVE

I felt the need to express love in its simplest form.. From the bible.. I have learned that we are nothing if we don't have love.. We will get any where if we are not humble!

1 Corinthians 13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹²For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.